Thursday, February 18, 2016

Deviating From the Plan

I had an amazing post planned for today, I really did. And then life happened. If you follow me on Twitter or we're friends on Facebook, you know what I'm talking about, but more on that in a bit.
Today, I'm going to be talking about something that's incredibly difficult for me. That is deviating from the plan. 
I set plans in my head. I work out all of the details, write them down, draw them out, and confirm sometimes even double confirm. From that point forward, things are set, that's my "plan." And really, I usually see no reason to change it.
As I've matured I've come to realize things aren't always going to go as planned. Life is full of curve balls, and sometimes, they come at you 95 miles an hour (can you tell I'm a pitchers girlfriend?). Now, I know being 22 and throwing a fit because something didn't go my way is totally unacceptable, but dammit, sometimes, I just want things to go as planned.

Here's a few ways I'm learning to just deal with it:

-Don't assume anything. If you're going to dinner with your friends or family, don't just assume someone is for sure going, confirm, and confirm again. Someone may not have text you that day because they're hoping you'll cancel first. Or maybe you're assuming someone else is going to pick up the tab because they're the ones who organized the meet up? Don't assume, just ask!
-Allow yourself to be annoyed for a certain time period. It's okay to be mad or sad about plans changing, don't stay mad forever, but allow yourself to have time to just be annoyed with the change.
-Talk to someone. Obviously not the person who has caused your plans to change, but someone who can just listen and not impose their side of the story in to your thoughts. Talking a situation out with an outside source is a sure way to calm the heck down.
-Realize what is/isn't in your control. This is a huge one for me. You can't control every aspect of every plan. Obviously, I wish I could, but I can. I've really learned that this is one of the most important aspect of learning to deal with it. Realize what you are able to control and only expect to be able to control that.
-Prepare for change. What? I'm supposed to make plans but prepare for them to be changed? Yes. Yes you are. While it'd be nice to have total control over a situation, being prepared for whatever happens is a great way to reduce the upset of plans changing. 
-Don't freak out. Isn't this obvious? Well not for me I guess. My first instinct is to freak, I mean really freak. All this is going to do is either make yourself sick or really stress yourself out. Just don't!

As I mentioned before, I'm a planner. A very serious planner. I have plans made far in advance. Like that shiny, brand new, one day old car in the picture above... The one I bought entirely on my own, brand spankin' new back in 2012, I had plans for it. I had plans to gift it to my sister on her 16th birthday. I had plans to have no car payment for the 4 months leading up to her birthday and I planned to use the 4 months to create a hefty down payment for a new car for myself, my dream car. But that just isn't going to happen anymore.
On Tuesday of this week, I was in the scariest car wreck of my life. I've been in my fair share of accidents with my parents growing up, but none like this. Someone pulled out in front of me as I was leaving class, and just stopped. He threw his hands up in the air and just stopped. My airbags deployed and I was paralyzed with shock. My plan was ruined. There was no more plan.
I'm so extremely thankful I was not hurt worse, because I very well could have been. I can't tell you how many times I've cried for the sole fact that my plan isn't a plan anymore.
Thank you to all of my sweet readers and friends who have text, tweeted or emailed me. It means the world to me. I know the recovery process will be slow, but I am incredibly thankful to be walking away with only a bad neck sprain. 

16 comments:

  1. this is a great post! I am a planner too! So deviating is so hard for me@!

    XoLindsay
    Sugar & Something

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  2. Glad to hear you're okay!! That sounds like it was a scary experience!

    -Morgan
    How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com

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  3. Oh my goodness! I'm so glad you're okay!!!

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  4. I am also a planner - to a fault. Definitely good and much-needed reminders!

    So glad you're okay, though!

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  5. How terrifying! I'm so glad that you're safe- car accidents are so scary. This is a difficult topic for me too, I'm just such a planner. I will definitely be using the tips moving forward.

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  6. I'm SO glad you're okay, when I saw your fb post I was so worried! Hang in there girl <3

    http://thealwaysblog.com

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  7. I was born a planner and will die a planner. I honestly almost can't function if plans change too quick. You aren't alone!

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  9. I'm a planner and any time I've had to deviate from the plan it's ridiculously hard for me!! You're not alone, sweet girl! So glad to hear you are okay!!!

    xo Ashley

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  10. I think everyone's first instinct is to freak out when change randomly invades your life. That's why a great support system and hearing (multiple) entrusted sounds of reason are so important. Great post, lady!

    xo,
    Stephanie
    Diary of a Debutante
    www.thediaryofadebutante.com

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  11. I love this post! I'm a huge planner, and very type A so when things go awry, I freak OUT! Thank you so much for sharing, I’ll definitely be bookmarking your blog :)

    xoxo,
    Katie, thefutureceoblog.blogpost.com

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  12. I have definitely always been a "plan person" so when things don't go as planned it can be hard for me, but all of the above are things I've been working on. Thanks for sharing!

    xo,
    Sara Kate Styling

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  13. I am such a planner so it's always hard for me when things don't go as planned - for example, i missed my flight today and i was all OUT of control. I need to really learn how to go with the flow
    xo
    Lauren
    The Fashionista's Diary

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  14. I'm totally a planner so when things aren't planned, I panic for sure! Xoxo Mindy

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  15. Deviating from plans is not my specialty. In fact, I'm going through a lot of anxiety in my life right now based on huge changes that are inevitable!

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