Thursday, January 28, 2016

Being Tied Down in Your 20's Isn't So Bad

Tied_Down_In_Your_Twenties
Have you ever been scrolling through Facebook and you see one of those posts titled "Why there are better things than being tied down at 20," or "Why you don't need a man in your 20's?" Yeah, I do. All. The. Time. Some days I ignore them and keep scrolling, but sometimes, I indulge and read them... Only to find myself annoyed. Really annoyed.

I met Thomas when I was 18 years old. We started "talking" the week of my senior prom actually. He's been my best friend ever since. 

In said posts, I see words like independence, career, experiment, experience, and one of my favorites, be selfish. Those words really get me thinking. Have I not learned to be or do any of those things? Have I missed out on the glory of being single in my 20's? The answer is no. In no way am I, or any other girl who is tied down in her 20's prevented from establishing independence, building a career, experimenting and experiencing things in life, and being selfish- because we all know I can be selfish. 

I have learned to be/do all of those things because I wanted to. I had the desire to establish my independence because I never wanted to be the girl who brought her boyfriend to everything or was always tagging along.  I have established a job that I adore while finishing college, I have experimented and experienced things in life that I could have never dreamed. And lastly, I have been more selfish than in my entire life, because before loving someone else, I had to learn to love myself.

Thomas and I have established a balance in life that I wouldn't have expected to have until well in to my 30's with another person. Being tied down in my 20's proved to be one of the best things that could have happened to me. 

I am tied down to someone who shares a love of traveling, and has taken me to cities I would have only dreamed of going to in my early 20's. I am tied down to someone who loves fine food, random Netflix documentary binges and laughing our butts off for absolutely no reason. While being tied down might sound awful, it sounds IS pretty great for me.

No one is saying you have to be tied down in your 20's, and no one is saying you have to be single in your 20's. 
I made the choice to be with someone in my 20's, and while some of the "20 things better than being tied down at 20" sounds slightly enticing, I could name 200 reasons why being tied down in your 20's is just as great as being single.

23 comments:

  1. SO GLAD YOU POSTED THIS. You know I've been in a long term relationship through my teens and now into my twenties. Hearing about Thomas, I can see a lot of similarities with Cameron. He's someone who supports you, challenges you, and brings you a whole lot of joy! While at the same time, you are independent enough to go out and make your own way and do your own things. LOVE IT!! Wish you the best as always! Xoxo

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    1. There are certainly a LOT of similarities between our guys. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world to be able to grow in every aspect with a person, especially at such a young age!

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  2. I always think those articles on Facebook are so ridiculous. Why can't I be all those things AND be in a relationship? They make it seem like you can't have both! And also, I just hate how they say "tied down", doesn't that just sound so horrible? lol
    And, what you said about being selfish - SPOT ON!
    Annie
    http://www.miscellannieous.com/

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    1. They are TOTALLY ridiculous! ANYONE, single or "tied down" can do whatever the heck they want. I think tied down is just another label the media throws on something to make people feel bad about themselves!

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  3. PREACH IT! I am engaged at 21 and am so sick of hearing that I'm unnecessarily tied down. I'm not tied down, I think of someone who I am so in love with when I make decisions. My fiance has been so supportive of me, he challenges me to stop being so afraid and a text or conversation with him makes me so much happier! I can independent, career focused and wild with my better half right next to me. I love this article so much. I'm happy that you've found someone to support you, challenge you and make you laugh!

    xoxo

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    1. You go girl! It's such an empowering feeling to have someone there for you unconditionally, by choice! I love being in love, and that is what matters!
      Glad you have someone to share in your happiness with as well :)

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  4. I LOVE the tone of this post! No one should be able to tell you you can't be independent, have a career, AND be in love in your 20s. Everyone has their own paths in life and I am so glad to know that the path you are on is a happy one. xx Merisa | Monogrammed Magnolias

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    1. Exactly! Because being happy is what ultimately matters most!

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  5. YES! I love this. If you are in a happy relationship that person brings out the best in you and pushes you to be an even better person. I'd say that's worth being tied to!

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  6. I can definitely identify with this post! So true. My boyfriend and I started dating at the end of our senior year in high school, and I can't imagine not being able to share all my new experiences with someone else! We're learning and exploring new things together. I don't think we're "holding each other back," like everyone says, if anything we're encouraging each other to push forward! Great post! Love your blog!
    ~Mattie
    www.mattiesmakings.com

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    1. Yes yes and yes. I think some people (those who haven't had these experiences) just don't understand the true joy that these feelings bring. Being in love is a fantastic thing, regardless of age, and no one should be able to shame you for that!

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  7. This is such a beautiful post! I think it's all about being "tied down" to the right person. <3
    xo
    Lauren

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  8. I love this post! I totally agree, too. I've been with my boyfriend since high school (we've since graduated college) and couldn't imagine a better life without him in the picture. We bring out the best in each other and I honestly so agree with everything you've said — I wish more people were respectful of others' decisions!

    Kayla || Keynotes from Kay

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    1. It really stinks that people are okay with shaming other's based on their relationship status, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles!
      Glad you have someone to share your happiness with! :)

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  9. Such great insight, personally I was in a long term relationship and got out in my early 20s, but love how you point out what it's like to be with the right person so young.
    www.kayleighskloset.com

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  10. I TOTALLY agree with everything you had to say here! My husband and I have been together since we were 18 (married since we were 24) and I've never once regretted it or felt tied down.

    All the Best,
    Allison | www.LiveLifeWellBlog.com

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  11. Thank you for sharing this! I am 23 and do not see myself committing to someone anytime soon, but I sure am not going to shame another woman who does. I agree that being tied down does not mean losing your independence because a relationship should not be about attachment anyway. I have a friend who got married at 18 (She's in her late 30's now) who shared her story with me the other day. She talked about how people kept telling her that she was throwing her life away by settling down and having kids so early in life, but her perspective was that no, she wasn't throwing her life away. She's just doing things in reverse. She's still getting her graduate degree like she planned, just at a later age than most people, and there's nothing wrong with that.

    xoxo | Sockwun | ExtraExtravagant.com

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    1. Exactly! Everyone takes a different path, and not everyones has to be "right" in someones eyes!

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  12. Love this! I'm 25 and I'll be the first of my friends to get married! A lot of criticism comes with "settling down" young!

    HashtagFabLife

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  13. AMEN to all of this! I hate seeing people bash people who are in serious relationships in their early 20's. I never ever thought that I would meet the man that I plan to marry at 22, but I'm so thankful that I did.

    XO, SS || Seersucker Sass

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  14. I actually think the reason the articles about being "single and selfish" are so possible is because most women fear being alone/not finding love, not because most people are judging relationships. I think a lot of women are searching for love and/or external validation so as a sort of cultural backlash it has become popular to react against the idea that it is better to be in love when you are 18-29. I can't say one choice IS actually better than the other but I definitely don't think you have anything to worry about. Life is different for everyone whether you're 19 or 28 or 40!

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  15. THANK YOU for saying this! I hate seeing people bash me for being in my 20's and married. I am happy and that's all that really matters in my opinion! I loved this post, thanks for sharing.

    Nicole // Chronicling Home

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  16. I've always said that love happens for everyone on a different timeline. Each love story is unique, and just because something works for one person, it doesn't mean it's going to work for everyone. This is such an important post, and I'm glad you took the time to share your love journey!

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